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The COVID-19 pandemic threw a wrench in employment for many of us. Most of the yoga studios where I used to teach went out of business during the early months of the pandemic. Like many, I pivoted to working online, Zooming my classes from my downstairs yoga studio.
However, once the studios began to reopen, I was still hesitant to spend my days in close proximity to a room full of heavy breathers. Many employees across the country have similarly chosen not to go back to public-facing jobs because of lingering fears of contracting COVID. Instead, they have sought other employment opportunities or have gone back to school to retool their work skills.
Are you debating furthering your education to retool your work skills?
Though I have successfully navigated a career shift before, I noticed my anxiety about the prospects involved in starting from scratch. Being in my mid-50s I worried if my brain was still fit enough to tackle the academic tasks ahead.
These days I fall asleep while reading a simple news article; I wondered how I would stay focused for chapter after chapter of scientific writing. I was concerned if I would still be competitive as an applicant to a doctoral program. I also pondered if I would have the physical endurance to keep up with a 20-year-old’s schedule, balancing school, clinical practicums, and a part-time job. So despite my initial excitement, I began to feel the tug of avoidance anchoring me to my status quo.
Do you ever find yourself wavering between excitement for and resistance to change?
I’m sure you’re familiar with avoidance, that tendency to avoid people, places, or activities that you think might make you feel anxious. The problem with avoidance is that it easily snowballs to become a permanent habit.
Think about it: When you avoid something, avoidance is reinforced, as it provides relief from the anxious symptoms you would have encountered had you engaged in the avoided activity. For example, if you are anxious about contracting COVID-19 at the grocery store, you might avoid those shopping trips and have your food delivered instead. By staying home, you don’t experience the anxiety of public shopping, and thus the habit of avoidance is reinforced.
Over time, you can get more and more sensitive to having any anxious reactions, and avoidance becomes your go-to strategy for coping with anxiety. Your world gets smaller and smaller and your ability to face the world declines.
Overcoming Avoidance
How do you overcome avoidance to start to move toward something you want?
The first step in working with avoidance is to notice when it shows up. Consciously acknowledge to yourself, “Oh, this is me avoiding this (person, activity, place).” Once you have noticed your avoidance, then be on the lookout for self-criticism.
Anxious people are experts at being hard on themselves, and your self-flagellation can keep you feeling bad about your behavior. Instead, try to be kind to yourself in those moments and accept that the urge to avoid things is normal, especially if you tend towards being anxious.
Next, recognize your ability to choose whether or not you move forward or continue to avoid. I like to think of my behavioral habits as seeds in a garden. I’m the gardener and get to choose which seeds I water and grow. Are my choices reinforcing my habit of avoidance, or are they watering the seeds of courage to help me move forward?
If you’re not sure how to proceed, try breaking your goals into smaller, more manageable, steps. Making small progress towards your goal reinforces your confidence in your ability to make a change. This further instills hope that you are able to achieve your goals, even if it takes longer than you originally planned.
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As you proceed, be on the lookout for those old familiar stories that pop up in your mind to create doubts, urge you to give up, or pull you back into the comfort of the familiar. Remember that you don’t have to believe everything you think. You can acknowledge those habitual thoughts just as another habit, like avoidance, and choose whether or not to endorse them.
Lastly, celebrate the small wins. Your self-critical mind will tend to focus your attention on what you haven’t yet done rather than on what you have achieved. By purposefully focusing on the small steps you have taken toward achieving your goal, you keep your mind positively oriented toward your trajectory of change.
“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end.” —Author Robin Sharma
This content was originally published here.
